Sunday, 12 October 2014

1st short sory

Reaching deeply into his pocket, in search of his key, Dave realised, to the unknowing observer, he probably resembled a dirty old man, enjoying a little solo dogging.
Despite smiling at the thought, he allowed himself a sideways glance to check for an audience, before finally brushing his fingertips against the key.
Maybe those kids from his childhood, who wore keys around their neck, secured by a shoelace weren't as dumb as he'd always believed.
Opening the door and stepping into the warmth of home, only to be greeted by the feeling of a spiders web across his face.
Resulting in Dave flailing his arms around his face with the speed and power of an Olympic swimmer.
Finally satisfied that the money spider, or equally harmless creature had been disbursed, Dave switched on the hallway light.
Taking the time to have a quick look around, just in case the web belonged to a bird eating tarantula.
It's unlikely but you do hear stories.
As he pushed the door closed behind him, it was obstructed by a mountain of mail.
"Oooo, Mr Popular!", he said sarcastically.
Shoveling up the post in one hand, whilst closing the door with the other, Dave walked through to the kitchen and spread the mountain of mail across the table.
Dave strained his eyes, as his ecologically friendly light bulb also strained to reach full brightness, with what felt like the speed of the sun rising.
After separating the junk mail, he was left with a solitary windowed envelope.
Tearing open the envelope, Dave recognised the credit card company's symbol inside, prompting him to throw the envelope on top of the pile of junk mail.
He stood momentarily motionless in the kitchen, then said, "Fuck this!", and headed back out of the door.

Tuesday, 16 September 2014


As a cyclist, I've observed many things.
For example;
Squirrels are among the dumbest creatures in the World.
They can see you riding toward them, yet they'll still run across your path!
Pedestrians are the second dumbest, for the same reason!
I remember years ago, with the introduction of 'The Walkman', there was a worry that people who had loud music playing directly into their ears would lack spacial awareness. Thus leaving them a danger to themselves whilst in public.
Aside from a handful of cases, as far as I'm aware, this wasn't really the case.
However, when targeted with the same accusation, mobile phones don't come away with the same virtual innocent verdict.
Placing a mobile phone into the hands of certain individuals seems to instantly suck away at their common sense.
Sending text messages, emails, or browsing the Internet whilst walking in public, doesn't make you indestructible to oncoming vehicles.
It's not such a major issue when the vehicle is me on my bike but I've seen some crazy behaviour.
I don't know the stats but would imagine it's the cause of a rising percentage of injuries.
If they step into my path, providing I have enough time to stop, or swerve, the worst they'll experience is me screaming at the top of my voice.
I have a bell on my bike but me screaming always gets a better reaction.
I managed to make one woman scream almost as loud as I was, and drop her phone. RESULT!

Regular blogger

I thought I'd better make the effort and add something to this, before it reaches a year since my last posting.
Obviously, nothing has happened to me in the last ten months.
Also, I've not had a creative thought.
I guess if I post something every ten months, I could still claim to be a regular blogger.
I obviously set my sights too high originally.
Maybe if I'd aimed a little lower, there'd be no feeling of disappointment.
That could be a good life lesson.
Although. if I followed this lesson, I'd leave myself open to the Chris Rock insult of being 'a low expectation having motherfucker'.
I'd find the accusation hard to argue against.