Saturday, 18 August 2012

Homage to Jerry

I found a spider in my bath this morning.
I'm sure we've all experienced this at some point.
If you believe the stats that get thrown around, we all have about three hundred spiders crawling in and out of our mouths while we sleep.
The fact that I've found spiders trapped in baths a handful of times in my life makes me think that the spiders that do get trapped, aren't the spider equivalent of Mensa members.

"Hey, you hear what happened to Jerry?"
"No, what's he done now?"
"He got trapped in a bath!"
"I guess it was just a matter of time! Was it one of those that eventually gets a cloth hung over the side so he could escape?"
"No, he's dead!"
"Hey, it's a jungle out there"
"Only if you're too stupid to look where you're going. I'll never understand how these idiots manage to die like that. We've got the silk hanging out of our ass! What do they think it's for?"

So basically, if you find a spider in a bath remember, it's probably the spider equivalent of somebody who thinks it's a good idea to retrieve their trapped toast from a toaster, using a fork!


  1. I woke up the other morning, to find one looking at me from on top of my pillow. I opened my eyes and was too shocked to move, whilst it just looked back at me as if to say "wassup?" Then I screamed.

    And now they've discovered water spiders...spiders that LIVE UNDER WATER!! Now I can't even drown them in the bath, or flush em down the toilet.

    Spiders that live under water!!!!!!

  2. Underwater?! Never heard of those. I've seen shows about the ones that can walk on water, not under it though!!!
    I actually regretted sending it to the big web in the sky.
    After I'd done it, I remembered that I've been bugged by ants for the last two summers. I should've put spidey outside to scare them off! I'll probably remember this if I see ants in my home. As you say, BASTARDS!