Monday, 30 January 2012

Good Evening,

tonight, I'm off loading about colleagues.

A colleague at work today just wouldn't shut up!!!
He appeared to want to be involved in every conversation that was taking place in the office.
Without invitation, he jumped into all manor of discussions, not even being dissuaded by the chance that the conversation might be private!
He wasn't just offering opinion, he literally took over.
I would've suspected the use of drugs but this is a very clean living man, and to make it worse, a very nice man.
Had it been anybody else stampeding over every word spoken, I would've had no problem directing a few insults his way but I genuinely wouldn't enjoy upsetting him.
I think I'd even feel guilty!
I did think that maybe his wife had been giving him the silent treatment over the weekend and he just needed to let loose with all of the thoughts that he'd been suppressing.
The only way that I can describe his actions is if you've ever had the pleasure of spending time with a new mum, who hasn't had the opportunity to spend any recent quality time in adult company. Spurting out every thought that pops into their head, at a hundred miles an hour.
Or like somebody who's been away from other people for ages and hasn't been able to talk.
Somebody who works for long hours on their own.
A prisoner in isolation.
Somebody who's lost their voice after an accident and just gets it back after years of silence with a miracle operation.
Or a hostage!
I think those should be enough examples!
D'you get my point?
You must have come across one of those people who, when they get around other adults, they just can't stop talking! And not just talking but talking utter shit!
Tease Me by Chaka Demus & Pliers just came on the radio and I said, "I haven't heard this in ages" and turned it up quite loud, while he was in mid sentence.
Maybe I need one those people skills courses.
Do you think that they have one for dealing with people who are acting like complete arseholes?
Maybe I'm the problem. Sadly, I seem to be drawing that conclusion more and more lately.
It's only Monday! Tomorrow is another day. Fingers crossed, it'll be a more peaceful one.

Monday, 23 January 2012

Blogging etiquette

What's the blogging etiquette on blogging about my own blogs?

After some very constructive criticism from a good friend and seasoned blogger, I had a re-read of my first attempt and can see it's shortcomings.
They stand out like the red pen that used to dominate my English coursework when I was at school. Do teachers still that? It seems a very aggressive way to highlight errors, Surely, a gentle pastel coloured highlight would be a kinder way of pointing out where I was going wrong. I'd spend ages preparing my work (That's a lie but the teacher didn't know that! She may have thought it but she could never have been sure), trying to make it look as attractive as possible, only to have it returned to me with big fuck off red ink all over it!
To me, it's the equivalent of correcting other peoples grammar by shouting through a megaphone! "IT'S PROVEN, NOT PROVED!!!"
To make it worse, now that I'm an adult, I witness teachers marking their student's work on buses and trains, while they're on their way to work! How much concentration is that teacher putting into their work?!
Let me know if I sound bitter at all.
To be honest, my failings at school were as a result of my own delusions of grandeur, laziness, lack of concentration and shyness.
As much as I'd like to blame teachers, they would've needed the inspiration of Jesus to have reached me!
Ironically, I now find Jesus to be less inspirational than David Blaine! In Jesus' defence, he hasn't had the opportunity to showcase many new tricks lately. How long can your reputation dine off of turning water into wine? As far as magic tricks go, it's on a level of, "pick a card".
I wasn't really a fan of Bill Hicks but often think of his questioning of why Christians wear crosses and crucifixes. If you believe that he's going to be coming back, don't you think that the last thing he'd want to see, would be a cross, or a crucifix?!
Two blogs in and I'm alienating Christians!

Sunday, 22 January 2012

It's 2012 and I still see men trying to look cool, whilst pushing their babies in buggies.
When are you going to understand that taking care of your baby IS being cool.
There's something that you need to know. Women like to see a man who's doing his parental duties.
You're already onto a winner, just by looking after your child!
There are so many men out there who don't do their fair share that any man seen doing even the smallest task, has already gained a modicum of respect.
Walking along to the side of the buggy, pushing it with only one hand, doesn't make you look cool. It makes you look like an idiot!
What is it that you're trying to achieve anyway? It looks like you're pushing a baby but trying to pretend that it's not yours. You're not fooling anybody!
Get your dumb arse behind the buggy and push it with both hands. PLEASE!!!