Regular blogger

I thought I'd better make the effort and add something to this, before it reaches a year since my last posting.
Obviously, nothing has happened to me in the last ten months.
Also, I've not had a creative thought.
I guess if I post something every ten months, I could still claim to be a regular blogger.
I obviously set my sights too high originally.
Maybe if I'd aimed a little lower, there'd be no feeling of disappointment.
That could be a good life lesson.
Although. if I followed this lesson, I'd leave myself open to the Chris Rock insult of being 'a low expectation having motherfucker'.
I'd find the accusation hard to argue against.

Robbie Williams

I see Olly Murs as a kind of Robbie Williams Light.
He could quite easily change his name to Robbie Williams Light without facing any protest.
If I were a song writer who wrote songs with Robbie Williams in mind.
Aside from being a song writer with extremely low aspirations, I'd be safe in the knowledge that anything that doesn't make it onto a Robbie album, could be considered for a b-side, and failing that, good old Olly could snap it up!
Unfortunately, when you start at Robbie, once Olly turns you down, you couldn't even get a busker to take your song on board!

Biggie Smalls

Ironically, Biggie Smalls almost certainly wore big smalls

Dreams

I hate the whole business of reading dreams.
Psychoanalysts and Psychologists have managed to make a very good living out of convincing people that they can interpret their dreams.
When anybody suggests that their dreams have a deep, hidden meaning, my stock reply is always the question, "You know what that dream means? It means that you were sleeping!"
I don't know who's joke that was. I suspect Jerry Seinfeld but I honestly can't remember.

Interpretations of dreams are always quite vague. I'm sure you can twist dreams to mean almost anything.
Dreams aren't supposed to mean what you would initially imagine.
I think that dreams about teeth, are supposed to represent money worries. I could be completely wrong but I think I heard that once.
Is there a reason that it couldn't mean that you're worried about losing teeth?

I recently had the pleasure of recalling a dream. It wasn't a pleasant one but the thing that really struck me/pissed me off, was that during the dream, somebody spoke to me. I didn't hear what they said and asked, 'What?'
My not hearing the comment, or what was said, had no relevance what soever!

When I woke and recalled this part of the dream, it aggravated the fuck out of me!
Why would my subconscious add this extra hurdle?
I know we often mishear, or just don't hear what people say, in real life but why the fuck would my mind add this unnecessary twist to dream?

It's a rhetorical question. If you have a theory, please keep it to yourself.

Sweet dreams  

English weather

I awoke this morning, strolled into the living room, and looked out of the window at the pouring rain.

I thought to myself, 'Well, there goes my plan to wash some sheets and hang them out on the line to dry.'

I went to the kitchen to make and eat breakfast. Made a cup of tea and went back to the living room, to be bathed in squintingly strong sunshine!

This kind of change always brings to mind, the old West Indian saying, 'Like da people dem.'

If it's not a phrase that you've heard, it just means that the English weather is very changeable, coincidently, very much like the English people.

I'm sitting here smiling to myself. It's often amusing to hear the explanation of the meaning of sayings.

I remember pissing myself laughing at somebody trying to explain, 'Duppy know who fe frighten', to a very English, middle aged woman.

I digress...

Luckily, or unluckily, I've lived in England long enough, to stop myself from rushing back to the kitchen to put those sheets in the washing machine. Give it another half an hour and it's sure to be pissing down again!

Our summer seems to now be over. Not just because of the rain. Rain in this country doesn't mean fuck all, as anybody who watches Wimbledon will tell you.

The sun has taken on a sharpness that is almost painful to my eyes. The summer sun has a kind of protective haze to it, that I never tire of.

Winter sun however, has an intensity to it, that is not unlike the bright light of an interrogation room!

I'll take that over rain most days though.

Living in England, you do grow accustomed to the rain, to a point.

However, I've reached an age where it becomes tiresome to get soaked through again and again.

Then again, if I'd paid more attention at school, maybe I could afford to live in a hot country.

But hey, it could be worse

Martin Luther King JR

After the recent celebrations of the fiftieth anniversary of Martin Luther King JR's most famous speech, I've come to the conclusion that I find his voice a tad annoying.
He was a fine speaker and nobody would argue with his message (apart from the religious stuff, of course).
However, there's something about the timbre of his voice that grates on me.
His most famous speeches, the ones we all know, are great but I just couldn't take a whole sermon.
Just saying. That's all

More moaning about speech

I might need to work on my blog titles. I don't think I'm exactly pulling in the crowds with my choices!

Another petty problem that I'm having lately, which I also may have moaned about previously, is ending sentences with an unnecessary flurry of words.
I'm guilty of this but not to the extreme rate that some others are.

Years ago a lot of people suffered with something that Frank Bruno made his own. It seemed like Big Frank couldn't finish a sentence without adding, 'Ya know what I mean?'
There are a lot of people who still enjoy using this but if you avoid people who spend most of their spare time hanging around outside Betting Shops, you should be relatively safe.

Our current youth have adjusted this Frankism to, 'Ya get me?' Equally pointless and equally annoying!

More recently, a lot of people, including myself, will finish a sentence and then add on, 'and stuff', 'or something', or the more annoying, 'and everything'.

In the words of every great stand-up comedian, 'What the fuck is that all about?!!!'

It's normally squeezed in, rapid-fire, so it's hard to pick up on.

I'm only aware of occasionally doing this myself. Each time I catch myself, I'm instantly pissed off.

So, if you hear me doing this, please laugh loudly in my face. It's obviously deserved.